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Friday, August 27, 2010

Up

Ever get to the end of your rope?

I seem to be at the end of mine much more than I am at the beginning of it.

Dangling over a precipice of uncertainty, I struggle and flail and fear and worry.

But then, one of two things happens.

Sometimes, God tells me to stand up.

What? I’m hanging over a ledge here!

But He just smiles and says, put your feet down.

Low and behold, there’s solid ground within inches of my toes. Sort of like someone who can’t swim fearing they are drowning, only to discover that if they stand, the water merely reaches their ankles.

In those cases, I’m not really in as much peril as I thought.

Other times, God tells me to look up.

And when I do, His hand is there outstretched to help me back to the top of the ledge. I might have been in peril, but He didn’t let me dangle for long, and He sure didn’t let me fall.

I promised a true story about trusting God. So, here it is. You may find it unbelievable, that I’m changing details to sell a story, or maybe you’ll shrug it off as insignificant or coincidental. But for me, it changed my universe, deepened my faith, and made me feel God’s arms actually giving me a hug.

Lately, I’ve felt like that mountain climber whose foot has slipped and I’m dangling at the end of my rope. Although I can’t share specifics, it has to do with my Daniel’s job. He’s been searching for a new one while enduring quite the firestorm every day. Not only not fun, but not healthy. In fact, it’s been so stressful for him that one night last week, we were both up much of the night with his excruciating migraine.

As I mentioned on Wednesday, though, I’m a wait and see kind of person. And my Daniel is the more persistent type. So we’ve been handling this tight spot in two polar opposite ways.

A ray of hope burst through last week, actually the day after the terrible migraine night, and my Daniel got a phone interview sort of out of the blue. It went well, and that got him excited and thinking and planning and hoping. The interviewer said she’d make her decision and get back to him on Friday, two days after they spoke.

This was something we both decided we really wanted and looked forward to the determining call.

In the midst of the wanting and hoping, we prayed, “God Your will be done.”

Well…

Friday came and went with no call.

That sent us into what I call “Iffin Land.” That means we address every possible “what if” scenario our little pea brains can conceive.

Being the wait and see kind of person that I am, I don’t like to go to Iffin Land very often. Sometimes, but not often.

My Daniel’s motivations and personality being opposite of mine, it helps him to think through all the possibilities, in this case, of why this lady didn’t call back when she had predicted that she would.

The desperation of his current job, though, exasperated our stay in Iffin Land, and by Monday we were both on pins and needles.

Well, Monday at work happened to be a particularly violet firestorm. To put it plainly, my Daniel was dangling from the end of his rope.

Here’s the setting… that Monday, I’m waiting in the lobby of his work for him to be done with a certain event. We can go home for the night when it’s completed. It’s past 6 p.m. already. He has a minute to chat with me, so the topic of conversation is, of course, this elusive call. Insisting he doesn’t care what the answer is as long as he can just know what it is, he asks what I think about calling to find out. Being the wait and see kind of person, I immediately deflect that suggestion even though I know and want my Daniel to have his answer and to gain some peace.

He debates, I counter, he gives another “what if” and finally, at the end of my rope, I exclaim, “I’m trying to get you to let this go! Just put it in the God box and move on. If we get the call, we get the call.”

Right away, he says, “I have to go take care of this group,” and retreats.

I sink into a chair to brood.

Great. Now he’s mad. I should have kept my mouth shut. I know we don’t deal with these things in the same way.

On and on I argue and fear and worry…

And try to pray.

God, I can’t handle this tension any more. He needs peace. I need peace. I know You hear us. Please help us.

This goes on nearly 45 minutes! Now I’m tired, hungry, impatient, angry, feeling guilty – pretty much ready to explode.

My Daniel comes back and sits down. “So I want to finish our conversation.”

He proceeds to tell me that he left so abruptly because he knew I was right (gotta love my man who tells me that when he recognizes it!). So he went into the back of an auditorium in the middle of showing The Expendables, and prayed, specifically putting this matter of the call into God’s hands, expressing his trust in God to do His perfect will, and basically giving up his anxiety and hopes and control.

No lying, as soon as the words left his mouth, his phone rang.

He was offered the job.

We are moving to Montana.

J

Do you feel like you’re at the end of your rope?

Stop flailing in mid air for a second and listen hard…

Is God telling you to stand up or look up?

Either way, I promise, He’s got you covered.

Have a great weekend, Dry Ground friends! Thanks for stopping by today!


(photos by photobucket.com)

4 comments:

lynnrush said...

Amazing.
Great story I'm so glad you shared it with us.
Another move.
Another adventure.

God is good. Happy Friday, Lori.

Sarah Baker said...

This is an awesome story. Being in a similar situation myself, I've been waiting for "a call," "the call," "my call," for a little while now. It's encouraging to hear God come through just when you needed it.

KM Wilsher said...

Lori, Montana? That's getting closer :). . .Miss you. Thanks for the wonderful post :)

Lori Lundquist said...

Thanks for stopping by, ladies! Blessings on you all!