Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Giving Up

Since moving to Billings, my plate of activities has completely changed, as drastically as a delightful, light brunch to a seven-course dinner with all the bells and whistles. It’s been quite the adjustment, and I’m busier than I have been for a long time.

It’s not a bad busy. In fact, I’m enjoying it much more than I imagined I would.

There’s a problem, though.

So far, I haven’t figured out how to incorporate #1- the 4-5 mile runs I had been taking pretty much every day, #2 – the extensive Bible study I’d do every day, and #3 – the hours of fiction I used to write – my top three passions (not necessarily in that order, and aside from my Daniel, of course).

I’ve been struggling with that a little. Part of the struggle is that I am happy in our new life here, and I can see the leading and favor of the Lord. I’m determined to fit in the passions, make time and prioritize those things I deem so important. But the determination stresses me out because it isn’t helping (so far) and the things that are keeping me busy are… well, keeping me busy. But happy too.

So I wonder, what do I do?

Change options are few.

Time is limited.

Sometimes, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

Do I fight it? Force the issues?

Or give up? Allow the new things on my plate to take precedent over the old?

The whole thing makes me, quite frankly, sad.

While praying about and considering this dilemma, though, peace washed over me.

I don’t fight and I don’t surrender.

I rest. And wait.

God sees the big picture, and He sees my heart full of these passions that have always been in me. And He knows when, if ever, those passions will bear fruit in my lifetime.

I say “if ever” because I have to be capable of giving up anything if God’s perfect will requires it of me.

But I also know the character of my God. He is good, He is great, He is loving and merciful. He made me and has directed my passions. The use of them are His business because they are to be unto His glory anyway, not mine.

Oh, I’ll keep doing my best to arrange my new schedule, do my part in utilizing the passions God has given me. I’m not giving up, period. Rather, I’m giving up my passions into His hands, trusting Him to do with me as He will.

Are any of your passions on the back burner? Are you keeping them there, or has God put you in a holding pattern? Whatever the case may be, trust God. He knows. And He is working.

Hope your week is going well, Dry Ground Friends!

(photo by


Jay Harris said...

In today's devotional from Oswald Chambers, it says "All that Jesus made possible is made mine by the free loving gift of God on the ground of what He performed, my attitude as a saved and sanctified soul is that of profound humble holiness, a holiness based on agonizing repentance and a sense of unspeakable shame and degradation; and also on the amazing realization that the love of God commended itself to me in that while I cared nothing about Him, He completed everything for my salvation and sanctification". No matter were Jay hides, God loves him! WOW!

Several weeks ago, I saw God drop two ropes into the vat of boiling oil for you and Dan, and He brought you out! The happiness and glee I hear in the words and actions from both of you on this new journey, is just wonderful.

Jonathan said...

Love this Lori! Although it is difficult for me to swallow, because writing is so much a part of me (and I've only done it consistently for a short time - I can't imagine how it must be for you), I think sometimes you must try your best and trust God to have your best in mind.

Lori Lundquist said...

Appreciate you both! Thanks for stopping by!

sandy said...

Lori I love this! And this has been my thought also this week. (Amen)

KM Wilsher said...

Whatever the case may be, trust God. He knows. And He is working.

Thank you, Lori :)